Private detective Tracer Spence is being stalked by the song "You're So Vain," hearing it every day for a year. When he's hired by a man with the same problem, Spence realizes that his case is connected to another that he's working on—that of a kidnapped sister.

In the process of solving both mysteries, Spence uncovers violent henchmen, a Mick Jagger doppelganger, and man-eating shadow creatures.

But even Spence's clients are hiding secrets. Secrets that will throw the private eye into a conspiracy of a mysterious organization hell-bent on keeping the origin of Carly Simon's song unknown. But these threats are only amplified by another: the fact that Tracer Spence is the worst private detective out there.