The discovery of the bodies of two "honky-tonk hitmen" on land belonging to a former relative brings the Trapnell siblings, self-centered Aimee, indolent Trainor, and brilliant Marsh, back to White Oaks, their opulent ancestral home. FBI Special Agent Carson Burns is tasked with protecting them, something she finds increasingly difficult, as sinister events keep occurring which barely avoid being fatal.

Adding to the confusion is a deposed dictator who has eluded his Secret Service watchdogs and is pretending to be Marsh's valet.

It becomes clear that someone intends to murder the Trapnells, but who? And why? A rapper called Baby Patty Cake insists the Illuminati are to blame, but that can't be true, can it?